SLAM PORTAL IX: EMOGEDDON

FREE OUTSIDE WRESTLING SHOW – BEGINS AT 4PM – ALL AGES – 21+ TO DRINK – SOME CONTENT NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN

Will SPACE TIGER JR. finally RAWR XD? LOL, we are SO RANDOM!

And for good reason! SLAM PORTAL is priming for a Myspace-core Deathmatch at CENTRAL MACHINE WORKS that is quite a HOT TOPIC! And you can help us if you have thought to yourself: I never sold out, I evolved. Get ready for sad boi hours.

The fact is that emo music and pro wrestling are both weird poetry you don’t have to understand just so long as you throw cups at it. You will witness trial and tribulation, heartache and screaming loudly in a distinct way, a telenovela seemingly cooked from a high schoolers first break up journal. Only now you KNOW that she still works at The Brass Rail in Fort Wayne, Indiana and you run an interstellar wrestling promotion in Austin so who ACTUALLY won, Brandy?!? Your hair is everywhere, Brandy.

And if you haven’t been to SLAM PORTAL, you are in for a treat. One of Austin’s most immersive and actually weird forms of entertainment, our shows have boasted acts including but not limited to free doughnuts being tossed into the audience, countless broken tables, real* celebrity boy band performances, a smart car driven up to the ring, live haircuts, multiple livestock appearances, a Jonas brother, a wedding, and some of the best pro wrestling in Central Texas and the GALAXY.

And why not come dressed for the occasion? Skinny jeans with a Youth Medium shirt and that one belt? Super scenester? Mall goth? E-kids (now E-adults)? There are no rules anymore. Choose your adventure and have fun as you melt into our collective delusion! Or not…. sit in the back and be a… aaa (grunts and powers up)… aaa (eyes glow with the light of a thousand suns)… POSER!!!

Scheduled to appear: Dadbod, Molly Table, Scooter Brawn, Cock Rocker, LX-Dash, Movie Myk, Yoink The Juggalo, Michael Arrow, Santa Chiva, Korey Konstantine, Pistolero Balderas, Chuck Steak, Space Tiger Jr., Lawrence Octavius Woodrow, Big Daddy Bolero, The Professor Jordan Tyler, Alexandra Cage, Pugging Head & Chubby Uncle Juan, Cosmo Orion, Divorcebod, and the MEGA-WOLF-MODE CHAMPION Pluto Mars.